Sometimes
by Debsjen
Summary: Another glass filled, he grabbed the glass and poured the contents down his throat. He didn't care anymore, not today at least. Tomorrow would be a different story...


**A/N: **hmm, this just came to me enjoy. Inspired by the song Sometimes from Papa roach.  
**Disclaimer:** Nope don't own bleach.

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**Sometimes**

_I'm dreaming about tomorrow,  
I'm thinkin of yesterday,  
I consume myself in sorrow  
this moment in time is what I betray,  
I am searching for the answers_

XxX

Another glass filled, he grabbed the glass and poured the contents down his throat. He didn't care anymore, not today at least. Tomorrow would be a different story, tomorrow he would be sober. For now he would indulge himself in sorrow, pain and despair. For life is what it is and never what you want it to be.

He smiled at nothing, it was just the rush of the alcohol that ran through his system. He wanted to roll in laughter for his state was what you'd call pathetic. It was just that, nothing more nothing less. He was a pathetic human being that gave into sorrow, pain and despair. Would anyone care? Most likely not, not like he cared.

He filled another glass, whisky is good when you needed to wash away the bitter after taste of life. One year ago he would have never thought that he would ever feel like this. No he was in seventh heaven or maybe you'd say he was either walking on cloud nine. It all fell apart so fast that he couldn't even comprehend it. Suddenly his seventh heaven became his personal hell hole and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't wake up from the nightmare. He ran his hand through his orange locks in frustration.

They spotted him yesterday, it was a blow to him especially when they told him he looked happy. He didn't wanted to know that. He wanted him to suffer, because why did he leave otherwise? He had no answers for it himself. But he could still remember the day he left so vivid.

XxX

_"I'm going to get a pack of smokes." the man called out._

_"Okay, should I go with you?" He asked._

_"No I'll be right back, you need anything?"_

_"Nah, I'll finish this up and be done when you get back, Grimm." With that he heard the door close, for a moment he listened to the silence before getting back to the task at hand._

XxX

He never got back from the run to the convenience store. He didn't even notice Grimmjow had grabbed all his stuff. Gone without a trace, believe me he tried to find him. A complete mess for weeks and when he finally he could pretend like he was fine, the bastard came back to the city and flaunt his happiness in front of his friend. He was beyond pissed, furious was even too soft.

_The fucking bastard!_

"Ichigo?" the voice that rang through the apartment was soft and sounded worried.

"I'm here." he said back, he was drunk enough. He poured himself another glass, he wanted to talk in incoherent sentences, he wanted to forget everything.

The door of the living room opened, a man appeared. The man was huge, with wavy brown hair and a small goatee on his chin. His eyes that is what got to Ichigo, they looked sad.

"How are you?" the man asked, he actually dared to ask him that.

"I'm peachy, Chad." Ichigo raised the glass to Chad before downing it. "Just fucking great. How the hell do you think I am?" He didn't wanted to raise his voice and saw that Chad flinched at it, "I'm sorry 'kay." he ran his hand through his hair in frustration once again.

"It's okay." Chad sat down next to Ichigo.

"No it's not." he poured another glass, "you want?" Chad just shook his head. "No, that means more for me."

"Is this wise?"

"Probably not, but it fucking helps 'kay." Chad said nothing so Ichigo figured it was fine.

"How got this all so fucked up?" he wasn't expecting an answer, nor did he get one. Chad just sat there next to him, held him company. They never needed much words, silence was much better. With Grimmjow he was mostly fighting about everything and nothing and that was okay too. It was their way, but he should've noticed the silence, instead of liking it. The last month he and Grimmjow were together he was always agreeing with him, he should have seen it coming.

Now he actually felt drunk, Chad was still next to him and he was pretty sure an hour had passed without anyone saying anything.

"I'm going to bed." Ichigo announced and he stood up. For a moment he staggered, in an instant Chad was next to him holding him steady. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Sometimes I wish it was you, you won't leave me right?"

"I'll be here." Ichigo wasn't sure if they meant the same thing, but still it felt awfully comforting. Ichigo staggered towards the bedroom.

"It'll be okay." said Chad, Ichigo stopped and held himself steady on the doorjamb.

"Will it?"

"Yeah, I get sad sometimes too."

"Aah." answered Ichigo as if what Chad told him explained everything and he entered his bedroom closing the door behind him. Tomorrow he would pay for this evening, for now he was blissfully unaware of the nearing hangover he'd experience in the morning.

XxX

_I look around  
sometimes I get sad,  
'Cause I don't know which way to go,  
I look around  
sometimes I get sad,  
'Cause my life  
is spinning out of control_

**The End**

**A/n:** I feel evil for such a one-shot. It's like everything and nothing. It has so much potential, but on the other hand this is what it is. A moment in time, a moment to re-group. I do wonder if I ever get a one-shot where Ichigo is actually happy. And before anyone starts it, yeah this is my first posted story on this account.


End file.
